What about me?
Hey, Currently Im not sure If I should add anything more. I´ll send it out now, and look again later on. Help is appreciated.
Hey all. I´ve been into typing stuff for a while now. I think I shared filled out questionnaires couple of times, and also had a typing session before. Guesses to questionnaires differed a lot, session result was not really satisfactory for some reason. Putting aside all the reasons I could produce to explain my interest into these typing stuff, I can say Im kinda tired of it. I decided to make this form as my last ever association with typing.
In general, I used have the tendency to write short answers. But I will try to make it explanatory as much as possible, but I will take breaks from it as it starts to getting boring after a while. Since I´m taking my time, its more likely that I´ll add some other lines to the end of my responses.
I´m not sure If I should share rather sensitive topics that might create vulnerability in me. I will decide how much I´m okay with it as I let myself write. When I write more than necessary, I tend to remove the post, or some part of it all together.
1- What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
Currently unemployed. There is an interview I´m waiting for. I´ve applied to some kind of talent acquisition program, but It took much more time than I foresee. I´m still waiting. If it's over, I will apply for a sales engineer position.
As a background; I´m an engineer. I'm one of those who doesn't know what they want to do. In my opinion, an occupation which you would swear at it during your late life, something that is not you´re enjoying to some point is bad. Enjoying, liking what you´re doing might drive you to improve yourself. If you are good at something, and it's not some unrealistic thing, money could follow. I think I hoped to find my thing.
I ended up in engineering. At the end of my 2nd year, I´ve decided that I´m not really that interested in it, after 2 years worth of courses and an internship. I was thinking about medical school. I had a falling out with my family over it, and had some fights. At the end, I was at the point where I was thinking of cutting connection, but that was not something I wished for. So, I bent, well, at least I looked like I did. Plan was finishing engineering and then preparing for college exams etc. Setup did not make sense imo. If it was something like chemistry it might be acceptable since you can see a possible connection and usability in future with medicine, but I was a mechanical engineer. It didn't go well. At some point, I lost my connection with the school etc. It took a long time to end it. Even though I haven't had any diagnosis, I probably got into a major depression over time. Things played out bad. Even If there are wrong decisions, I´ve made them, even bending over to their wishes was my decision to some point. So, I have no regrets or anything. I rarely regret about the things I do. Just to make sure of that I'm reminding it, It doesn't mean I don't learn from the past. There is a cause and effect, I´m mindful of it. But the past wont haunt me. At least %99 of the time. There is a thing though.
2- What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I've tried weight lifting before, but quit after a few months since it controls your time to some degree. I was badly burnt by a woman a few years ago. At that time, someone suggested weightlifting. I gave it a shot. It clicked well that time. In addition to health benefits etc, there is also the fact that it helps subduing all inner turmoil etc. I decided to get an athlete's body, and have been weightlifting for a year now. I´m currently grinding. Since I'm unemployed, I have time. So, 5 times a week for now.
I play video games these days. How much time I spend changes. I can't say for sure, I play nothing when playing starts to get boring. Totally subjective, but I get bored easily.
Reading whatever I find interesting. It might be a book, typology, or anything in that nature. Stuff I read about differs. I don't really look for things to read about. I hear somewhere, or I read about it on reddit for example. Took an interest and check.
Since I think that I have a problem in the relationships department, I consume about those. Perhaps stuff like reading people etc, I have two or three books about those I think. In general I'm selective about what I read though.
As I mentioned, I´m waiting for an interview. It requires me to prepare for it. I was studying but lost the flame for now. I used to have an interview on October 16th, but they postponed it. With the postponement, I was a bit lost. I think having time pressure has a positive impact on my drive, at least that's what seems possible.
3- What are your values, and why?
I used to say something like “Treat people how you wanted to be treated”,Something like respect people so they respect you?, but I don't really know if it's something genuine on my part. I´m pretty sure I can just ignore this thing and do whatever. So, I believe there is some kind of a contract mindset at my core. I´m not saying what I do, or what I think. Don't know how to explain.
Other than that, It would be easier if I was given the situation, and asked for my opinion.
4- Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
I know there are people who have multiple things they could say about their people, I´m not one of those. Like, dislike? Everyone has their own traits, it's more like leave it or take it. I don't go around telling or mentioning things I like or dislike to people. I don't even think I'm super considering it. It's more like, they are good towards me, we hit off well, they have good intentions etc? I´ve been with my close group of friends for 15 years now.
With the family, sure, there are times they irritate me. But, I´m not the person who says or thinks like, Oh I like this about my mother, oh I dislike this about my father. I´m more like, he/she is who he is, this behavior irritates me, if she/he pushes me far, we´ll have a situation, but that's it. I don't know what more I could say about these.
I´ll add few little additions here over time;
5- What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
Until I was 18 years old, I´ve changed cities every 1 or 2 years. We were living in an occupational community lodging. I had an environment there, and I had an environment at school. I was friends with almost everyone growing up, of course there were few I was falling out with.
I think it's more about me having exposure to people, and I make friends eventually. It's about exposure.
I don't want to say I don't judge people etc, but if I don't see a major problem, we might see how It goes. Though, I don't really put much effort in people, since it is more likely for me to think that its pointless at some early point.
Currently don't want to talk about romantic stuff.
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I found something I might say about general human relations. I dont have the habit of keeping in contact with people in general. I´ve met lots of people, made many friends in the past but keeping in contact etc is not my thing. If we are not doing things together, if we are not having occasional face to face communication etc, I don't consider it there is someone in my life at all. I don't like texting, phone calls, etc. Face to face is the way. If I don't have it, I won't keep it in general. In addition, I guess I'm seeing people as play mates etc in general.
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Reading again, It seems that I decided to put it in a very bad light. I dont know what to say, really. But at least Im kinda loyal person, I have a Bro Code.
6- What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I don't have anything I can remember right now. But I might not respond well when someone says what I should think or do, or perhaps talks badly about my behavior etc.
7- What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?
I´m smart.
I can be in a well mannered, or perhaps good, relation with people from each background in general. I don't really care about what kind of wealth, status, accomplishments people have. If you are behaving well, and seemingly good intentional, I could easily find a common ground etc. I dont mean feeling close to people etc, but people tends to trust me, at least, their communication seems to show it.
I guess they find me non-judgemental to some degree. I don't think I am non-judgemental, yet, Its for sure that I dont show it. Lets say, foreign colleagues from my previous company. Some of their backgrounds were countries or cultures I have a lower opinion about. Even if I speak about that culture badly, I act different to individual. Pragmatism comes to mind but I dont consider it as a complete pragmatist act, people might be different from their origin. Even though I tend to generalize things, It doesn't sound okay If I act like prejudice for general is also true for the person I'm engaging from get go.
Questions like what people like about me, or what I like about myself are weird questions to me. I can say that when people talks about those stuff I very much willing to listen. But that willingness is also bothersome since I consider myself to be someone who doesn't care about the opinions of others. Which is a contradiction. But that questioning is there. I think deep down, I might be thinking that, by default, people are bothered around me, perhaps I'm boring, or perhaps unlovable to some degree. But I have no way to verify it. And I don't know If Im willing to verify it because I also know what those questions imply, which is weak imo. I dont even like it when I write those :d
When it comes to job, I was able to resist to fucked up situation of my company. I wont get into it.
I can ignore getting tired for a long time, resist the bad working conditions etc. But after passing a threshold, it's over. After that point, its impossible to recover, I´ve tried it.
8- What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
Im kinda lazy. I know that If I have a clear goal, something I truly wish to have, I can go for anything, I will have the drive. But I dont have any. What's more, I don't doubt that I could do anything as long as I'm driven for it.
When I catch kinda strong feelings for someone, I tend to become more driven though, it happened few times. It makes you do more, improve etc. But, I see it as a weakness. I prefer if I dont feel that kind of thing. I was careful about it for a big chunk of my life. I let it loose once. I dont know how to navigate. I dont understand where it comes from, what creates it, I dont understand it all (I dont want to end up lying, appearance of a woman is important to me.). Its something raw, other party must have the correct receiver.
I´ve talked about human relations above.
My family says I dont like taking care of myself, which is true. I tend to ignore it when I get sick. I dont care about what I eat in general, I'm okay as long as I'm fed. I don't like being have to think what I should eat, for example. If I have to tend by myself, I can have boiled eggs for a long time.
9- In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I dont ask help from people in general. There are departments Im lacking, I´m aware of those, relations for example. But, I dont like asking people what should I do etc. I also dont like it when people comment on those. I wouldnt push me too much. I read about stuff rather than asking. If I ever ask something, It happens after I explained all my reasonings, explain all different approaches, different angles to look at something etc.
I mentioned stuff about eating, caring about self etc. I know that I dont care about these, but I'm not sure If I'm looking for it from people. It seems to me that I don't even care about it that much if others provide it. But I would probably die at some point.
10- What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
11- What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
I have an interview ahead of me. I will wait for it first. I will go and apply for sales engineer positions If I fail. I want to make something that could be self-sufficient and work without my full time participation. I will learn sales, for the human relations etc stuff. In the mean time, I will learn about economics, stock, maybe real estate. I need to create equity first. Here´s the neat part. Idea is there. Implementation of it has a big question mark on top of it.
Reason why I say these are; money was something I ignored growing up, there are possible reasons for it. But I believe, I don't care about those anymore. ((I remember I was thinking that, me wanting money was something dangerous when I was in high school. It's something like seeing a potential of how bad you could be, I don't know how to put it. Perhaps I might say something like, I could do something bad without feeling bad about it? Dunno. I havent let myself that free actually, I think its related to my family. Perhaps, one of my parents is my dual or some other type that could engineer me.))
I want freedom. Freedom comes from power, power comes from money.
12- What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?
I can comment on someone else's room etc. But I dont care about mine. I don't care much about it as long as I have space. Also, I prefer it when someone is not changing the location of my belongings constantly. My room might look messy to some people, but I know what is where, at least for the most stuff.
13- If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?
Probably invest in real estate.
I would go on a world tour.
14- What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
I dont know for the first part of question.
For the second part, Im annoyed by people who defends or become flag carrier of ideas, ideologies, school of thoughts etc. “.......” rights, freedom to “.....”, religion, feminism, whatever “ism” in general. They are bothersome. And, most of these people who have a tendency to attach to these tend to be idiots imho.
15- How do you behave around strangers?
On the reserved side of spectrum in general. But it also depends. Being open etc is not out of question I guess, depends on the mood perhaps?
16- How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
Reaction to conflict might depend on the context and situation.
Insult and attack; It's not like Im getting insulted everyday, and there are situations insult is not directed at you, I have seen it in my previous company. But if it is something personally directed at me, my response depends on the severity of it. I might react similarly, or can take way too further. Totally depends.
As for attack, I took it as physical. I prefer if I dont get into that situation. Putting aside the possibilities such as falling and hitting your head somewhere, I would like to avoid being a murderer or something. If survival instinct kicks in, I won't show mercy.
17-How do you dress or manage your appearance?
I dont know much about it. Only thing I checked about these are “how to match socks”.
Im good looking, my body was never in bad shape. Most stuff looks good on me. If colors are matching, Im good to go.
But, even If it like above, I know that I like to look good. Thats why I ask opinion of my brother for example. Do I like good etc.
Your clothes-wise, bad comments about my clothes might annoy. Its not like I´ll start to defend or what not. It just bothers. Some kind of clothes have connections to some kind of common sense stuff. How I am supposed to know those.
18- Do you like kids? Why or why not?
I can play with them for a while, but I will pass them to their mother for sure. They like me I guess.
I think I like them, I probably see them pure.
19- In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
Simple. I dont know. Really.
20- How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
I think I did have an attention seeking phase before. I mentioned I´ve been burnt before. I´ve had an extremely weird time after that.
21- Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?
I´ve been in that situation before. I don't think I feel what they feel, perhaps a bit of heavy feeling, dunno. I can easily see their perspective, why they took it hard, why it hits hard etc.
I´m not someone you should use as a shoulder to cry over. Listening without interrupting, doable. Understanding, doable. Making suggestions, doable. Emotional mending, sorry.
22- What was (or is) your high school experience like?
I guess, in general, school was more of a playground for me, where friends are etc. But, without getting much attachment. Just play.
I think I developed this attitude as a kind of defence mechanism. You get used to people, be friends with them, maybe attach, and separate for who knows how long. Then repeat the cycle. I dont know how it would be if it was in normal order.
23- What is something you regret?
I dont think I'm capable of it. Even if a choice is a bad one, I dont mind owning it.
And think of it. Current me is the one who is writing these lines. If I go around feeling regret over everything I've done, that would be betrayal to my current self, since current me is the result of my past choices.
24- Who do you admire, and why?
Admiring, being a fan etc is not my cup of tea. I never had that tendency. I even find it weird when people talk about the people they admire etc, such as celebrities, historical figures, rich people or what ever. Other peoples achievements etc does not concern me.
I guess I took this question correctly.
25- What are your spiritual or religious beliefs and why do you hold them?
My family prefers to believe, I dont. I dont understand the need to believe something bigger such as god. I dont have that need.
I also dont like it when believers asks you to prove its non-existence etc. Fking entitled clowns.
26- What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
Bio, math, chem, physics related stuff in general. I was good at them.
27- What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
This question totally depends on context. Each situation is different.
If its work related, and I needed something from someone, I might be understanding. My deadline for the thing I asked, and workload of the said person are important.
If its a woman, and I believe I'm not being unreasonable, I´ll cut it off after being understanding to a bearable degree but it's not much.
If its friend, depends on the context.
If it's something I decided as a clear goal, I will do whatever it takes I guess.
28- How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
As much as everybody else I guess. Even If I get angry at something, It won't take long before I cool off. It might be something like forget eating and being disturbed by low blood sugar etc. Or perhaps someone pushing wrong buttons. I dont like it when people talks about my relation with some other people for example. I wont go yell or anything etc, but I react.
29- What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?
I learn things quite easily, and also easily apply what I learned about.
Education was quite boring for me. I was already picking up things fast. I´ve never studied for exams until university. It was better having things being a bit harder. I only prepared for university entrance exam, since It was not about knowing but the pace of solving problems.
At the university, I had very good gpa until I lost motivation, something like 3.8 I guess. All I did was following classes, and solving few questions before exams.
After returning back to school, I put the effort and ended it eventually. Similar strategy.
30- What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?
I guess I was way more social, way more extroverted. Playing football, basketball, or whatever thing we were interested in with people. Probably a bit hyperactive.
My mother says I never did things as I was asked, I'm the same as before in that regard. Comes from one ear, goes out from the other.
I guess I was way more lively compared to now. But, I think that depression stuff is related to way I am now. It changes you a bit. I wonder when will I have another transformation.
31- What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
This is something I look for, and I don't have any answer yet. But, I prefer avoiding when I can. Its a rabbit hole. Its not fun down there.
32- What is the best/worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
These kind of things feel alien to me.
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Originally Posted by Distance
