An enigma

[raisonpure]

It's been a while since I've been so mesmerized by such beautiful eyes. They are bright and openly scornful, much like the impression I have of his character. But I haven't interacted directly with him, and am afraid to perform an Ni-ray on him, so this will be short.

Temperament possibilities:
EP >> IP >>> EJ >>>>> IJ

My interest was piqued upon hearing that he got himself hospitalized by jumping off the 2nd floor (!!) during an argument with his mother (ENTj). He always has a way of disappearing from the class after fidgeting in his seat for a few minutes, so my ESTj teacher has often had to pause a lesson in order to tell him to get back into the class -- often to no avail. He is highly disrespectful of my teacher, though he seems to have more respect for Ni discussions. He is said to be highly intelligent and witty. From what I've gathered, his jokes are of the insulting kind -- all the funnier because they carry a trace of truth to them. But he has problems with studying, cooperating, and... Hell, I think he's screwed all over

He is constantly on the move, but his version differs from that of an ESTp guy -- who, coincidentally, does not conflict with the teacher. The latter is calm, self-controlled, nonchalant and even considerate. I admire those qualities, and find him a lot more approachable. The former, on the other hand, is frantic, brash, impulsive, and brimming with antagonism. And he swears a lot. Yet I am more drawn to him for all that, because he makes me feel like calming him down.

I really wish I could help him, but our age difference, social status, etc. prevents me from taking the initiative. Plus he constantly surrounds himself with his friends. I doubt it would be a worthy pursuit, but I cannot leave the matter alone, either. His presence is much too distracting. I regret the day I stared into his eyes

Useless fact: He is left handed as well.

[FDG]

Maybe an ESFp Se subtype, but also maybe the more unhappy kind of ESTp, which yes, most definitely is more appreciated by the girls exactly due to the fact that he's unhappy. He could even be an ENTj, who knows.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[FDG]

Sounds like he has psychological problems. My advice: steer clear of him.

Yeah, sure, let's isolate him so that his problems only go down deeper?

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[FDG]

That's true, but "steer clear of him" it's exaggerate, if not helped it's likely that a negative feedback cycle is in operation where he behaves bad, and then people "steer clear of him", and he behaves even worse, so on...

[raisonpure]

Yes, it can be argued that I am too young and inexperienced to play the psychologist. Likely to spiral down a dangerous path. I had neglected to mention that his sister is ESFp. They behave a bit differently. There's a different feel to him, probably stemming from the fact that she's actually healthy.

I just need to find a way to prevent the infatuation from growing... Any advice?

[FDG]

Dunno, find youself a boyfriend?

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[oyburger]

Take from someone whose been there: trying to fix a psychologically screwed up guy when you're young (especially when he's older and you are infatuated with him) will only end up screwing you up. Later on, you'll really end up hating the you of that time

[Gilly]

It's a 50/50. Someimes, all they need is a little help/someone to listen. Others, they're actually neurotic, and need psychotherapy; not a relationship.

Some key distinguishers-

-If he has "subordinates" instead of friends, he's unhealthy.

-If he has a few friends who would say things like "You know, he's not that bad; he's just angry" or something like that, it's usually a sign that he's at least somewhat healthy/operable.

-His attitude towards his family is a REALLY key component here. Social impeti that give rise to this kind of behavior USUALLY don't extend all the way to home plate, so figuring out what he's like away from school/normal social cotnexts is another key point.

If all of those things coincide one way or the other, it's a pretty safe bet that they're an indicator of the truth. If not, well, ask again

[raisonpure]

Thank you, Diana. At first, my only intention was to analyze his problems and see if I could suggest solutions, but I saw myself taking it too personally as I became more aware of him, and thought it pertinent to raise my concern. The fantasies have been removed now.

If I were to overlook his disregard of rules and his poor relationship with my ESTj teacher, ENTj would be very likely. He does not look or walk like an EP. And, overall, there is just something "off" about EP. That is to say, he does not exude the powerful presence that I find attractive in Se-dominants, but I'm drawn to something within him -- something special I picked up on even before I heard about his problems. He also looks like Ryan Phillippe.

Thanks guys

Oh and... He's actually a year younger than I am

[Gilly]

Take from someone whose been there: trying to fix a psychologically screwed up guy when you're young (especially when he's older and you are infatuated with him) will only end up screwing you up. Later on, you'll really end up hating the you of that time

Testimonials don't help anyone.

[oyburger]

Take from someone whose been there: trying to fix a psychologically screwed up guy when you're young (especially when he's older and you are infatuated with him) will only end up screwing you up. Later on, you'll really end up hating the you of that time

Testimonials don't help anyone.

They do if someone might make the same mistake

[Austy]

And there's an age problem...?

[Gilly]

Take from someone whose been there: trying to fix a psychologically screwed up guy when you're young (especially when he's older and you are infatuated with him) will only end up screwing you up. Later on, you'll really end up hating the you of that time

Testimonials don't help anyone.

They do if someone might make the same mistake

That's assuming that the situation is the same. This guy might be completely different from the person you tried to "fix." It all depends upon whether this is a real psychological, neurotic issue, or if it's just a social construct.

[raisonpure]

And there's an age problem...?

Um, yes? I imagine that his mother wouldn't appreciate it if I went too close to him. And I may end up tutoring him in the near future (Am I thinking this way too far or what...)

That's assuming that the situation is the same. This guy might be completely different from the person you tried to "fix." It all depends upon whether this is a real psychological, neurotic issue, or if it's just a social construct.

Good points, Gilligan. It's not like I haven't "fixed" someone (ENFj friend) before. I learned a lot from the experience, and he went away as a better person. But it consumed a lot of my time and energy, especially during the first month or two. And those are two very important factors that will remain at a minimum, regardless of the factors you mentioned. I only have four months left, so I am sticking by those two.

Who knows, maybe I can kill off the infatuation more quickly by picturing a "Supervisor" label whenever I see him.

[olduser]

show him this post- he's sure to fall in love with you. He sounds like a bad young ESTp stereotype. Good luck, I'm sure you'll gain lots of poetry from observing his exploits.

[raisonpure]

show him this post- he's sure to fall in love with you. He sounds like a bad young ESTp stereotype. Good luck, I'm sure you'll gain lots of poetry from observing his exploits.

Far from what I need, but thanks for the good luck...

[stefana]

..........

[Expat]

Maybe an ESFp Se subtype, but also maybe the more unhappy kind of ESTp, which yes, most definitely is more appreciated by the girls exactly due to the fact that he's unhappy. He could even be an ENTj, who knows.

My views exactly.

[oyburger]

Take from someone whose been there: trying to fix a psychologically screwed up guy when you're young (especially when he's older and you are infatuated with him) will only end up screwing you up. Later on, you'll really end up hating the you of that time

Testimonials don't help anyone.

They do if someone might make the same mistake

That's assuming that the situation is the same. This guy might be completely different from the person you tried to "fix." It all depends upon whether this is a real psychological, neurotic issue, or if it's just a social construct.

In general, where do you think most advice comes from? Situations are generalized based on common factors.

In my story however, the guy was indeed insane and in need of medical attention.

[Gilly]

Right, but if such a key point is still ambiguous, then it could be dangerous to give advice that is incompatible with the situation.

I'm not trying to accuse you, I'm just saying...

[oyburger]

Of course me being me, I feel that I can never be cautious enough and neither can others *shrugs



...accuse me of what? Did I miss something?

[ScarlettLux]

Wow, this guy sounds really attractive.

ESTp!

[FDG]

Wow, this guy sounds really attractive.

lol

[snegledmaca]

Wow, this guy sounds really attractive.

ESTp!

Same here.

[raisonpure]

I managed to observe him very closely today. Upon closer inspection, I realized that he looks, walks, dresses, and even sounds like this ESTp:



But without the Si criticism. I guess it pays to be older

I've never seen someone fidget in his seat like he does. He'd shake his legs for minutes. It seemed as if he was squirming to get away all the time. Makes me wonder if he has ADD...

Fortunately, the infatuation has ended now that my curiosity has been satisfied. As with the above ESTp, I get the feeling that there isn't anything that we can talk about. There is also something bitter/corrosive about his essence that I find repulsive. I feel much more comfortable around his sister, actually. I guess ESFps make it easier for people to warm up to them...

[stefana]

............

[FDG]

I've never seen someone fidget in his seat like he does. He'd shake his legs for minutes. It seemed as if he was squirming to get away all the time. Makes me wonder if he has ADD...

I do this. It has gotten worse with age. If the person near me has some nerve problems, he/she usually hates me in a matter of minutes. Sometimes when I'm sitting in the biblio, studying - there are ample desks shared by 10 people - I get asked more than once to "calm down a bit" :S (actually, I'm usually calm on the inside)

Mostly painful when sitting near a slightly neurotic ENFj, once, last year. Remember the bit of the description that says that "they are set off by unnecessary movements"? They are really set off by them.

[raisonpure]

Fortunately, the infatuation has ended now that my curiosity has been satisfied. As with the above ESTp, I get the feeling that there isn't anything that we can talk about. There is also something bitter/corrosive about his essence that I find repulsive. I feel much more comfortable around his sister, actually. I guess ESFps make it easier for people to warm up to them...

Oh? You can feel people's essence too?

If a book has a strong impact on me, I can "smell" its essence. There was a time when a former alcohol addict came to our school to talk about her experience. Some time during the talk, it occurred to me that the essence was parallel with the book, and I started to cry as time and space clashed together (poor way of phrasing it, but in short, it was like I was experiencing two different times). That was a memorable episode.

In this case, I can actually taste it.

... What have I been eating...

[stefana]

////

[eunice]

Wow, this guy sounds really attractive.

ESTp!

Same here.

I think ESTps are attractive too. But, no offense here, based on what Raisonpure has described on this forum, what did u find attractive in him?

[dreamer]

I just need to find a way to prevent the infatuation from growing... Any advice?

You probably idealize him. Break the idealized image you have of him and each time you do that, it'll go away. Find another guy? What bothers you the most? Ask him if he ever done it.

They get worst without friends but how do a friend stay by if he's acting so obnoxiously. I don't think you're able to help him change or become a better himself. You can be a friend and hope he doesn't treat you like the others. And if he's obnoxious in general, he'll always hit something in you that frustrates the heck out of you and if you realize that, you shoudn't get too close because once you do and try to leave him, it'll be uncomfortable and slightly messy. If you want to, you have to know if you can take it. You can't fix it, just divert it in another direction. They change on their own when the time is right and they are ready to do so.

[UDP]

Sounds like he has psychological problems. My advice: steer clear of him.

I've only read the first page... something tells me that she might not have followed your advice.


Poor INFp girls... fascinated by people who jump off of buildings.

[raisonpure]

I repent for my stupid response, which was an overreaction to the implications that UDP's post carried:

1. INFps are deaf to reason when infatuated -> I am INFp -> I lack sufficient judgment and self-control to heed Diana's advice.
2. Diana's advice is unworthy of my attention -> I only thanked her in superficial agreement.
3. INFp girls are, as a rule, fascinated by people who jump off of buildings.

I should have asked UDP for clarification instead

[dreamer]

For your information, I have followed Diana's advice perfectly.

It's not like she HAS to follow advice. You can't follow advice all your life. It's more important to do what raison feels is right at the moment. Even if she didn't steer clear, it's a learning experience. I know mine was and I'm a much 'better' person now, not like 'morals' better but 'stronger' better.

My primary motive for representing INFps was to dispel such stereotypes

.

I been meaning to ask you, what do you have against INFPs? You're very hard on us.

[ScarlettLux]

Hahah.. UDP secretly loves us..