That situation changed fast. Almost as fast as an EIE changes their opinions.Originally Posted by MidnightWilderness
That situation changed fast. Almost as fast as an EIE changes their opinions.
Ah no it wasn't on this forum but elsewhere and I wrote it in a particularly unhealthy state because I haven't been sleeping well and I have headaches and can't figure out why. I can end up saying dramatic things in such a state quite easily and it always sounds strange after I magically feel better. Such an inconvenience... And I am being myself in the way I write and everything and not trying to pretend, I am just being 100% with my feelings even if it sounds quite cringe and stupid to others because I feel like no one understands me very well, even my own self. And after some thought I realized that socionics doesn't help me in any way and makes things worse because now I feel the tendency to overanalyze every interaction and action I ever make. I have gained 0 useful insights on anything, and I realized that even if two people are of the same type they can have some major differences. For me it is important to justify my existence but I realized religion helps, otherwise it seems quite strange to exist and I always find myself going into the thought that nothing really matters and all of our actions are inconsequential. I do not feel guilty or inferior to anyone but myself because I simply do not care what most people say, except for those that are close to me. It has nothing to do with strangers as their actions and words do not affect me, I can only absorb some criticism but I don't think an internet forum is necessarily where I would get any real help. If I did nothing when I did not feel like doing anything I would become lazy and as a consequence end up getting nothing in life and then I know I would cry over it because I wish to make my dreams into reality and that takes hard work and perseverance. So I should only take advice as it pertains to me becoming a better person and growing into a healthy state of affairs. If my boyfriend and I get back together I have to convince him that socionics doesn't align with reality and that he should stop taking it so seriously.
This sadly is how our relationship goes sometimes, fast changing... And now we are together... It must have something to do with stress and immaturity and not our types... I hate it so much and it is just socionics fault and mine for making it worse.
Nope my boyfriend is 100% ILE and I am a very weird SEI... Well maybe I will return to make posts that are actually supposed to be funny and maybe as I grow older I can sound more serious. No we really did break up because he called me in the middle of this... I am almost having a little too much fun with thisbut it's sadly serious come on...
Looking forward to your return. You remind me of @Spider.Nope my boyfriend is 100% ILE and I am a very weird SEI... Well maybe I will return to make posts that are actually supposed to be funny and maybe as I grow older I can sound more serious. No we really did break up because he called me in the middle of this... I am almost having a little too much fun with this
ILEs do not care about such things as maturity as it doesn't help them in their goals at all. Seriousness is not something they need much of because to them life is about possibilities and enjoying it as it is away from harshness and brutality. To an ILE, at least the way I see it, they think gammas are too serious and self centered. Also they suck at Fi so they won't sound mature when they talk about their feelings or relationships at all and will misunderstand them often. They do not care about improving it though too much and they don't like all this talk of morals. Hierarchy, struggle, those things are not important either. Life is simply for enjoyment and pleasure. Life is too short to always be serious for them. And they have bad Si and need it greatly, so it can seem like they can't take care of themselves much, but for all they lack in Si they have a good mind for things that require Ne and Ti. Every type is different in their understanding of maturity, so mature for ILI is different from ILE is different from SEI. A 13 year old ILE is very different from 40 year old ILE in terms of their worldview.
No breast milk with those cookies?
ILE wouldn't just take those cookies and leave true, he would also take the milk too... Also I have the feeling he wouldn't reject the opportunity to talk about his projects and then I imagine SEI giggles and then cut to the breast milk and cookies.
Man grows used to everything, the scoundrel!
-Raskolnikov
As if any other Alpha is doing better in the mental maturity department.
Have you tried telling him what you want your life to look like instead? Does he listen & respect that? Is he open minded? Is this his ideal in general?
Side note cuz I relate. My IEE friend basically makes it sound like his dream of the future is him working hard at his manager job while his girl stays home with a couple kids, some pets, & cleans. I told him I'm not sure on wanting kids for various reasons & I'd definitely want to work cuz I get bored too easily being home. I also said I'm a good cook & fairly neat in general, but I don't really like or don't like to consistently cook & clean. He said if his girl wants to work or not is up to her & he wants to be able to provide for her either way. We had been friends for a year & knowing what I want for myself, he still asked me out.
I'd say, just lay it out straight to him. Maybe compromise cuz if I ever lived with someone & they worked 60 hours but I worked 40, on my days off is when I'd probably surprise them & tidy things up or whatever it is that they'd appreciate & basically even out our work hours. Working days would be a different story though. Lol
Ok reading more of your replies, your bf seems to be killing your self esteem. I'd say try dating around some more. It's fine imo to have preferences, but he seems patronizing. & the fact that he knows socionics & brings it up in the ways he does to you, is different imo then people not into socionics where you might just have to clear up some misunderstandings with them. Typology seems like a tool he's using to make you into his little puppet almost. I say cut the strings. Lol
Date around without a certain type in mind. I don't really buy the dual idea. I'm also not settled on a type, so idk what my dual would even be.. lol Irregardless just look for people you find interesting or look for traits you want. Maybe look for a guy that loves to cook? Maybe seek a guy that dreams of being a chef? Or just talk to many different types of guys & see what sticks. Someone might surprise you. My grandparents are a supervision relationship & married 50+ yrs so.. not that I'd want their relationship, but I guess it works for them.
I'd say that socionics, unlike mbti, actually has a sensor bias. I think socionics people are easily impressed by Se egos.
Socionics points out flaws in the types unlike MBTI so there is more stereotyping and judging of others. Every type gets hate but I have noticed some get more than others. People don't usually talk about SEIs as the majority of people this forum aren't really alpha types. I think socionics people are impressed by SEI egos because there are a lot more Se valuers on this forum than Se devaluing types. So if there were more Deltas and Alphas on this forum that would look different.
No I wouldn't want a guy that loves to cook or be a chef, I am a caretaker and not an infantile. Duality only works if all the other factors that have nothing to do with socionics align. Supervision doesn't sound very fun unless you are the supervisor, and even then you might end up hurting the person, but I guess the Benefactor/Benefit relations would be better, albeit not very great and quite possibly boring. I will stick with my boyfriend he isn't so bad after all, just might have to end up compromising a little.
Well that is inefficient, you must look at all functions and understand that there can't just be 14 neat little boxes to put people in, functions are on a spectrum. Not a limitation, but rather trying to assign expectations of people based on their type. Not every member of a certain type will fit the description and stereotypes 100%.
It's also weird to me that everyone in this community seems to think food/cooking = Si. Someone try & tell me Guy Fieri for example is an SEI or SLI. Lol
But anyway it was just an example.
Socionics removed, what traits to you appreciate in other people?
imo he sounds like he bullies/puts you down. At least from what you wrote. & sounds like he gets angry when you don't fit his stereotype of the socionics type you are or he thinks that you are & just points out everything you're not doing for him. Personally, I'd tell him off but.. I can't tell someone to be in a relationship or not with someone. Maybe you're leaving out some good qualities about him? idk
Being a Si user I usually use sensations to explain abstract concepts to myself to make it easier for me to understand. For example, take the abstract concept of spirituality. I have to conceptualize people as trees, and that our roots are our souls reaching for some kind of sense in this world, to let the tree stay firmly grounded, and if we have no sense or purpose we fall over and die. (Your sense or purpose can be to relax or to not care about sense or purpose btw.) For my roots, the Bible and God help me not to fall over and die. Sunlight is our ideals and our goals (my main goal is to get to heaven), we can't let obstacles block our light (obstacles in my case can be sins, other people, etc.), we must grow toward the light or stay small, spindly trees. A simpler example is when Forest Gump says, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get". I really don't know how else to explain how I use Si, maybe other users experience it differently, but I tend not to do traditional sensory activities besides going on runs and appreciating nature, listening to music. Well I admire people who are able to hold their own opinions, someone who can stay strong despite all the negativity and chaos of this world. I admire people with logic and sensibility because I am kind of incapable of complex logical thought due to being stronger with my emotions. I admire people with a sense of humor too because everyone knows laughter is the best medicine.I imagine hanging around artistically creative people as I am one myself, we can share our different interests in the arts, explore different creative worlds of the other person, but at the moment I have no one besides my boyfriend to speak to. I could write even more but I mainly summed it up. I like lots of different traits in people, depends on what place they have in my life, whether they are my teachers, my friends, my acquaintances, they should all have different qualities as the relationship fits.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I don't like people who don't offer constructive criticism and just say "Well you suck", or people who are overly judgmental of the actions of others.
Last edited by MidnightWilderness; 03-21-2021 at 11:10 PM.
i'm not paying attention to this thread, but i wanna stress this. when i first arrived here, i self-typed EII and when i switched to ESI, it was a matter of whether or not i was strong enough to have Se. not a matter of whether or not i had too much Ne (unless it was like "look, you can't have Se, you're being so infantile right now" lol). being good enough to have Se was the perception barrier. was i GOOD enough to be ESI. you're right & you should say it
100%
Yes because people can have different levels of abilities in their functions, it's mostly about preference of using them.
@SlytherinPower if you don't mind me asking, out of curiosity, what traits do you appreciate in other people?
Kindness, good with people, non-judgmental, not uptight, funny, sense of adventure, makes me feel like I don't have to worry what I say to them, & understanding.
Sense of purpose almost sounds like Ni. Just throwing it out there.Being a Si user I usually use sensations to explain abstract concepts to myself to make it easier for me to understand. For example, take the abstract concept of spirituality. I have to conceptualize people as trees, and that our roots are our souls reaching for some kind of sense in this world, to let the tree stay firmly grounded, and if we have no sense or purpose we fall over and die. (Your sense or purpose can be to relax or to not care about sense or purpose btw.) For my roots, the Bible and God help me not to fall over and die. Sunlight is our ideals and our goals (my main goal is to get to heaven), we can't let obstacles block our light (obstacles in my case can be sins, other people, etc.), we must grow toward the light or stay small, spindly trees. A simpler example is when Forest Gump says, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get". I really don't know how else to explain how I use Si, maybe other users experience it differently, but I tend not to do traditional sensory activities besides going on runs and appreciating nature, listening to music. Well I admire people who are able to hold their own opinions, someone who can stay strong despite all the negativity and chaos of this world. I admire people with logic and sensibility because I am kind of incapable of complex logical thought due to being stronger with my emotions. I admire people with a sense of humor too because everyone knows laughter is the best medicine.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I don't like people who don't offer constructive criticism and just say "Well you suck", or people who are overly judgmental of the actions of others.
Well I do feel like I need a sense of purpose in life, otherwise I think about how it is meaningless to live and that no matter what you do, time will pass as usual and that we are all going to die and turn into other forms of matter. I get depressed when I feel my actions can't change anything and I feel useless. But I averted falling into such a pit and wallowing in self-pity by becoming a Christian and making goals for myself. My purpose is to get to heaven, help others on their way through the test of life as much as possible and entertain and heal through art. But sense of purpose is not grounds enough to say that I am a Ni user.
The best thing in life though is to make as many good memories as possible so you can look at old photos and cry bittersweet tears before succumbing to death.
I often feel like I'm just knocking down days. It gets me depressed on & off. Especially when I feel that I'm in a rut.
I'm not big on looking at old photos tbh but aww :')
Or just reflecting back on your life in general doesn't have to be old photos. I just imagine lying in my deathbed looking at photographs of my family and friends and crying, mulling over all my actions and feeling grateful for all the wonderful people in my life before I take one last gasp. But enough morbidity, I am still a teenager and I still hopefully have decades before I croak! If you feel stuck in a rut, try doing all the things that make you feel motivated, or rethink your goals, or maybe just do something different sometimes. But I don't know if that helps I'm not you.
It does, thanks.
SEI confirmed.
For your mortality blues. (I still use it to self-flagellate from time to time):
Oh I have already music for my mortality blues but I try not to focus on this too much as it will harm me. Best of all is just to be yourself, as I now just thought, no one can be like you. And try to make good use of your time and stop wallowing in self pity... If you do too much self-flagellation it will harm you and you will end up in a void of nothingness and emptiness. Just justify your actions in life with something already, develop a spirituality, and if you look back at all your mistakes you should say "Well it's bad that I made a mistake but at least I can learn from it and try not to do it again in the future". It's better to do self-reconstruction and see positives instead of negatives. At least I am not poor, at least I am not x, y, z. Better to stop thinking and start doing, then go back to thinking. If you can surround your self with positives and build a scaffold on which to live life, everything will be better.
Um I didn't get enough sleep and I had headaches for three days... So
Now enjoy some overused memes: Warning: NSFW - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3B7M-3KfrA (let's just pretend I didn't post it shh)
Bye guys, this thread was fun and I enjoyed my time, thank you!
You really think you're SEI? For what aristocratic reason? You are Si polr. Like Musk. I'm gonna go grumble about it elsewhere.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrenology
An optimist - does not get discouraged under any circumstances. Life upheavals and stressful events only toughen him and make more confident. He likes to laugh and entertain people. Enters contact with someone by involving him with a humorous remark. His humor is often sly and contain hints and double meanings. Easily enters into arguments and bets, especially if he is challenged. When arguing his points is often ironic, ridicules the views of his opponent. His irritability and hot temper may be unpleasant to others. However, he himself is not perceptive of this and believes that he is simply exchanging opinions.
http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=LIE_Profile_by_Gulenko
I am definitely not Si polr like Musk and I definitely am not a LIE or EIE so I don't know what you've based that on. I don't think I have said anything here that would point toward me being Si polr.
Could be Si role though, from your posts it seems possible you could just be an IEI who's been pushed into Si. One thing I'd like to say is that you shouldn't discount being an Ni dominant because "You're just not good enough at it". Seeing you clearly don't like Si, and seemingly see it more as an "obligation" than a good part of who you are, it might be that people(specifically your ILE ex) just pressured you into it. While I can't exactly define Si and Ni for you, I'd say that the general Si is when you take in information in how you physically feel, while Ni is more about creating intricate scenarios in your head(I haven't talked to enough weak Ni people to know this for sure, but that's what i've generally gathered). Either way though, you should try to look into being an IEI by reading some more descriptions of them and talking with IEI's.
Hmm... It does seem to me that both of my parents are intuitive, (mom seems Si devaluing, father seems Si valuing), my ex friend seemed Si valuing (but I don't think she was dominant as she forced me to clean up after her mess, still she seemed able to pick out every single flaw with someone's dressing choices or face, and it was quite annoying). Perhaps I have had to use it more in my life than normal due to these factors.
Considering my ITR's... I don't know so many people in real life, and I suck at typing, (I can narrow it down at least) besides speaking to people online is different from speaking to them in real life.
Still being an IEI doesn't sound quite right... But neither does SEI, so I don't quite know... I try to read up on all the types and all I can conclude is that I am Te Polr, Fe user, etc. The way I write seems to match neither the IEIs or the SEIs on this forum.
One IEI commented that I don't sound IEI at all, so that is one more point towards being SEI, and another one messaged me and never messaged me back, maybe I sounded too boring, one more point toward SEI.
Creating scenarios though, well I imagine myself in situations all the time, (I imagine future interview scenarios, or talking to friends), but it could just be some role Ni stuff going on there. SEIs can still daydream a lot.
Boyfriend swears I am SEI though and doesn't see me as being a IEI, only four potential problems with his typing:
1. I do feel the need to put on a persona in front of him.
2. He is comparing me with a male IEI that seems to be more into making jokes and laughing at them, and is also quite whiny in comparison to me. My boyfriend states that if I was IEI I would be less forgiving towards him, but I mean... I think there is a difference in how he treats this friend v.s. me.
3. He can't actually define Ni at all so...
4. He types anyone he finds dumb and illogical as EIE without question which makes me slightly upset.
5. Also lives entirely with intuitives in his house, although his brother is an ESE. Did meet a SEI in real life, but he was 10 years old at the time.
6. We seem to have a hard time talking about anything serious (possible mirage relationship?)
7. Again, yes I do think of taking care of him as more of a duty than anything else.
8. Among other weird ill fitting vibes I seem to be getting when we talk outside of serious things
But...
1. I don't think we can even begin to intellectually match each other the way some IEIs describe it. Feels like I am the dumb one.
2. He seems to love me a lot and even praises the way I make food or how I show affection... (I did fail a lot at cooking and also it felt tedious, seemed like hours before it was done, and I seemed to create a giant mess at the end.)
3. Perhaps my caretaking instincts haven't kicked in yet, I haven't actually been with him in real life, but also I am 17.
4. Si is more about choosing which sensations you don't like or like, so some people with Si don't actually like cooking or cleaning because they prefer other sensations.
5. I think 17 year olds would have a hard time seeing themselves as caretakers and cooks and being all "sensory" so they mistype themselves.
6. He doesn't see me as being intuitive at all.
7. The problems with our relationship could be NTR.
Problems with finding my type:
1. I quite possibly have chronic depression.
2. I have a very low self esteem.
3. I am only 17, and still trying to figure out some of my opinions.
4. I am too shy and probably won't leave my room to find anyone to talk to in real life because I can't be bothered at the moment.
5. I never met a SEI... maybe I did meet two or three potential IEIs in real life...
6. I do not feel like Si is who I am, but I could be wrong and just a really confused SEI.
Too many questions and no definitive answers...
Maybe I should actually think about productive things instead of worrying about this, but at the same time I want answers for everything.
I guess I will try my best in my spare time to figure it out so that I can release myself from the torture so that I can think more focused, thanks.
Also...
Socionics might just be a very bad theory that actually doesn't work, and therefore is a waste of my time.
However, if people can say for sure that it actually helped them, then I can use it as a career advantage and a way to avoid bad situations.
Still, I am super skeptical anyways because the patterns are not quite apparent yet to me, and also others have had too many troubles with this system.
Yet another layer of doubt...
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