Originally Posted by
thegreenfaerie
This isn’t hard to see at all. People fail to see that our obsession and confusion with our typing was due to an issue with accepting possibilities, not an inclination toward/thriving on having so many. Any slight discrepancy in a typing we had finally accepted threw everything off due to struggling with Ne, not thriving on it. This is something I realized and mentioned some time ago. I personally try to shut all possibilities because they stress me out badly and people who thrive on them/have fun with them can tend to annoy me. As I’ve said a million times, I just want to know the truth (in my typing). I’ve still not settled on it, it’s a huge leap. I started realizing some time ago though that I am not a delta NF. In fact, I am not even an intuitive. I was dishonest with myself and others at points. When I joined this forum, I was running from my first typing, which was ESI.
There is a lot I could say and maybe I will. I only have a phone right now, but I do feel a bit obligated. As time went on, there is information on my typing thread and elsewhere on this thread, that seemed to go ignored. I’ve talked about how I’m naturally a very Ij temperament, to start, there are a ton of reasons Ep/IEE is beyond ridiculous for me that it seriously makes me laugh at this point. I’ve talked about how my most fitting personality type was the melancholic temperament. I’ve talked about how people in my real life tend to view me as more logical and I how I struggle with emotions around people (unless it’s my boyfriend, my dog, or kids I am close to). I’ve talked about how I’m a hermit. I’ve talked about my cool, analytical and even deadpan approach with people irl. There are hinters all over this forum. I was contradictory though and I put a lot of the blame on a stupid typing such as IEE on myself.
I also ran from Sol’s spotting good sensing and weak intuition. He was absolutely right on that, which is something I figured out the more I learned. I am very aware of both my body and environment, and as I’ve mentioned elsewhere on the forum, I am tidy and anal-retentive. My true nature is fairly uptight. At one point, as I mentioned before, I decided to change. The loss of my sister followed by my time spent working in behavioral health were game changers as well, and honestly, I am 100% miserable in the field. I have never been help or service-oriented, I hate to admit. There is a lot I haven’t talked about or admitted here, and for good reason.
Gulenko’s typing of me isn’t crazy at all and makes complete sense. There is only one minor detail I caught which wasn’t quite accurate, but everything else was pretty spot on. Gulenko saw Ij, Gulenko saw sensing and yes he saw beta values. Aspects of my history, my romantic situations and my views on certain types of other people (the latter of which I didn’t even mention to him, but was identified elsewhere in typing sessions)... there is a lot here I have not said or admitted and I’ve started to come clean elsewhere. Something happened a couple of years ago that pushed me to change some of my ways further. I do value treating others people kindly and am remorseful when I am a dick, but there is way too much against delta NF at this point pertaining to my true nature... which I really mean EII when I say that because IEE/Ep is so stupid lol. Se PoLr has always been a serious issue for EII as well, but I rationalized it as I could seem to make all the other IE’s work. Fi base I realized, before Gulenko’s typing session even, doesn’t seem to work either. I suck with relations to others and I am also generally paranoid.