I've read that when you meet your dual, there's a sensation that you have known this person from long ago.
How close is this statemant to reality? I personally have not experienced this yet.
I've read that when you meet your dual, there's a sensation that you have known this person from long ago.
How close is this statemant to reality? I personally have not experienced this yet.
When I first meet a dual, it feels like they are so different, and I feel like I know nothing about this person, but we don't clash in any way. No matter where the convo goes, we don't really clash. It is kind of amazing.
And at some point, they start to say things which I wish I had thought of.
no, you just like them if so.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Ive had this experience. But it doesnt happen with every dual.
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
I recognize my duals well. Some don’t see me because they are too materialistic and surface people who want a shiny person and I’m not that person so I don’t get any special notice. My husband happens to be a rugged mountain man ESTJ who loves hiking and swimming so materials were not as important to him. First dual to love me the way that I am without needing to give me advice about what to wear and why.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
There are SEI's with whom there is a greater distance (I'm usually the one who just goes away regardless what they say). Those are the most reactive ones and I have no particular interest in that as I get pretty stressed out by that. Then there are those where the distance does not exist and things are smooth.
There is probably something what I would call nervous system compatibility.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
I felt that way with an EII once, as did she with me. Seeing as how both of us had an equally strange upbringing however, that might be source for a lot of the deep understanding we felt for each other. We were young, naive, and very dumb. Last I heard she's with some ESE loon, she's completely nuts too might I add, so perhaps it's a good fit. As for duals, I'm not quite sure, I don't meet a lot of them. Most of my friends tend to be Alpha NTs, EIIs and LSIs.
Not at all, and the only reason I'm with one is that at the time of our first meeting, I knew immediately that she was my dual so I decided to give it a try. I certainly didn't fall head over heels for her; she simply grew on me and I certainly cannot understand what she sees in me. However, her favourite brother is LII so she likely had an insight that I didn't. If I didn't try this as an experiment, I'd likely be with another super-ego, which, for me, seemed to be the easiest relationship to start. For whatever reason and knowing what I know, ESEs still don't turn my head - but leaving my dual now would be out of the question.
a.k.a. I/O
I had a dual once in my late 20s for a number of years.
It actually did not feel like I knew them all my life.
My cousin is my dual so I never felt the special sensation as I've always known what my duals were like.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
just nice people
especially of opposite sex
I like better the theory stating that we tend to overlook and ignore our dual, until some magic day you realize how the world sucks without them (which may prove the other point right: you actually know your duals since long, but don't even remember it... lol)
I'm feeling like i might be IEI, lol. I've been uninterested in this SLE for so long, and now her way of being in the world means much more to me. But yet - i believe the mind to be able to create anything and deem it real, so why should this play be any more real? Her bluntness and intimacy towards what is *actual* grounds me totally, though.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
It would be unreasonable of me to accuse you of snooping, considering i blabbered so fervently in the post you quoted.
It feels like more of a recognition of the incompleteness if anything. I find that the idea of duality primarily serves us in that it makes us aware that we are in need of each other - something that i have had the tendency to neglect.
Its not that you know them personally, its that you click with the IEs. Almost like you’ve seen this pattern in a person before. My duals make me feel empowered and stable and I laugh in a more foundational way. You just say and do the most naturally first thing that pops into your awareness. Basically you have confidence.
Btw I think your friend is IEE or EII and you are SEI or EII.
I got an ESI to vote in my favor for model UN. Veto. Power. Pretty awful justification anyways. "You have colonies this effects colonial powers you don't want this"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrenology
An optimist - does not get discouraged under any circumstances. Life upheavals and stressful events only toughen him and make more confident. He likes to laugh and entertain people. Enters contact with someone by involving him with a humorous remark. His humor is often sly and contain hints and double meanings. Easily enters into arguments and bets, especially if he is challenged. When arguing his points is often ironic, ridicules the views of his opponent. His irritability and hot temper may be unpleasant to others. However, he himself is not perceptive of this and believes that he is simply exchanging opinions.
http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.php?title=LIE_Profile_by_Gulenko
I love the way that is put. I agree with this whole post. It is great when you do the natural thing that comes to mind and it's the thing that really worked for the other person. In my case its the thing that got the best reaction, it is a satisfying feeling of validation and knowing how to press the person's funny button.
I always think I could be a successful comedian if I had an SEI, SLI, LSE crowd.
With mirror types sometimes I can feel such a strong sense of attraction that I fear it will be too much and we will bore each other because we cannot live up to the initial intensity of the attraction.
I have experienced it the feeling in OP. Not with every dual though. They seem very different to myself but I tend to understand them quite easily, and banter requires less effort to be understood so it feels like we are of some same kind of cloth. Rapport also is built faster, so things do feel like you are talking to someone you are more familiar with, and the sensation of feeling like friends stands out because you two are strangers. With conflictor of the opposite sex they can seem very exciting, but they seem very different to myself and in ways that I do not agree with but sometimes are impressive but I cannot understand why or how they are that way, but with duals despite their difference they make sense to me, I can almost see what they are all about.
Met one your dual once and at some point you will start catching yourself on comparing everybody to that almost a stranger: like he/she has become a model of a perfect person imprinted on the back of your mind, unwillingly even. Doesn't work for actors/writers and so on, only person met in flesh but THEN it occurs that actually those idols you ever had are somewhat similar...
I think that at the first moment impression with dual is very similar to activity. That mutual understanding. But duality shows itself when, ironically, some common activity, TASK is executed. This "two halves of a whole unit". Like you we were an old marriage, after 30 years of common everything, full synchronization. Somehow you happen to be always on eatch other side, no matter what kind of relation it is and what shit is going on.
today an SLE girl asked me if I want to go running with her this week, interesting as I've only met her once before, I said yes - no matter what it's good to get back to running, I've been meaning to for quite some time now
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
@Ilamatecuhtli I find it really harmful how some socionists depict IR relationships (especially duality) with such pink glasses lenses. It's harmful because it creates bias toward people, and it's harmful because it's extremely unrealistic (no wonder that most socionists are NT mathematicians and physicisist who've probably been thinking too much of human relationships without actually living them).
That said, what you described: "Met one your dual once and at some point you will start catching yourself on comparing everybody to that almost a stranger", never happened to me, WITH A DUAL. I'll tell you when it happened instead, every time I ever fell in love for real, which happened only twice in my life: with an ENxP(P?) and with an ESI. The ENxx in question was my first love, I was a kid, and he's still the guy I compare everyone with... although, by now, he's become just a very pale memory in the back of my mind... the ESI guy was so dear instead that even if I know it wasn't duality, and it didn't work out, I can't see anyone now, without comparing them to him.
Love does not look at ITR relationships, when it happens it turns your world upside down, and the people become dualized naturally... even without good IR.
(side note: I've been with other types in my life and I think some of them were my duals, with these people there was even a greater "chemistry"-hot physical attraction and what not, but these relationships didn't last long and in some cases left me really hurt and disappointed. Instead, the 2 people mentioned above have been a part of my life for a long time, they made me who I am, and I think that's one of the main component of love too, which is not just "chemistry", mental or physical, but it's especially dedication, effort, smoothing to each other's requests, changing and adapting, loving.. )
It feels safe and intimate. <em>Like they can look into your soul. Like they can read into those little gestures and tell a story. Like you can look into their soul. Like you can read into those little gestures and tell a story. Like they get you. Like you get them. Like you can finally be yourself. Like they can finally be themselves. Like someone finally says something useful. And your problems are resolved. Their problems get resolved.</em><br><br>Edit: the italicized part comes after many many meetings. <br><br>Let me stay on topic. The first meeting of my dual, I felt safe because I opened up. Then the next few, when I was composed, I saw the ILI 'F' as a helpful individual who I want to see again. That's all. No romanticizing there. I just saw them as another person who just so happens to give really good advice. <--reference to Fi/Te Gamma values.
First date I had with my dual I thought it was love at first sight. Following conversations with this LIE was natural, intensely absorbing, and easy for me to follow and contribute.
I felt like I was always learning and we were constantly diving deeper and deeper into each other's worlds seamlessly.
Our humor didn't line up, though and his inferior Fe/Si made me uncomfortable/embarrassed around him sometimes. It crashed and burned quickly but with no hard feelings on either end. We are still good friends now and have amazing conversations.
Another time i dated a dual I became really fixated on him after only a few dates. We had a back and forth, aggressor / victim dynamic that was challenging, infuriating, and addicting. Again, the rudeness I perceived from his end coming from low Fe/Si made me feel disrespected and I quit it pretty quickly after a few bad misunderstandings.
I don't think meeting a dual necessarily feels like you've known them in the past before. I just get an understanding of them very easily and can also recognize their shortcomings just as quickly. I see their intentions as good as whole and they just seem to "make sense".
You just know you have met someone very interesting. They seem very colorful and expressive.
Dual 1: light blue
Dual 2: pink
Dual 3: yellow
Dual 4: orange
I married orange. When he talks it's like butter in my ears, so that I don't have to be really paying attention all that well and it's just relaxing. I don't have to suppress my Fe around him. I can squeeze him and giggle like a maniac all I want and it's fine. I can ask him stupid questions like, who is prettier? Me or Angelina Jolie? Even though that's so annoying, he will answer it so honestly. We both cheer each other up. I tried to get in a fight with him one time, we just end up agreeing and hugging in the end.
It's not perfect though!
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
ILE: I'm home!
SEI: ILE! ILE!
LII on the phone with ILE: Did she just say cootchie cootchie goo?
ILE: My brother just asked if you said cootchie cootchie goo?
SEI: *laughs*
ILE to LII on phone: No, but now she's laughing.
SEI: *Twirls hair*
ILE: You cut your hair! That's hot...
SEI: You like it? Cootchie cootchie goo! *hugs ILE*
ILE to LII on phone: Now she's saying it....
Uhhhh yeah. Stuff like that happens a lot where I'm just being super hyper and joking around but affectionately. So i guess that is Fe...
One of my best friends is LII. We get along very well, we have interesting, deep conversations about everything and nothing, and it's quite funny to reflect over our differences, yet how despite those differences we get along very well. We have different values, different interests, different ways of life, yet we get along so well on a personal level and in groups (as we're both a bit reserved and stick to each other at first). I hold him very dearly. Recently he entered a relationship with an ESE girl, and I'm very happy for him - they seem to get along well, and judging from what I've read about duality, this actually seems to be a very good practical example of it.
I, however, do not get along all that well with this ESE girl. It's fine at first, but our conversations lead no where - it's like it ends too abruptly, as if she isn't interested in analysing behaviours, ideas and various phenomena all that much. She's more in the here and now, concerned with practical matters, which is fine - I'm quite adaptable, but it's strange when conversations end and the topic changes so abruptly with no real response to the ideas presented. She seems like she's more confident in groups than one on one.
We've decided to start a book club, which is fun. I suggested we read The Adolescent by my favourite writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky, but naturally, the ESE got to decide first, and she chose some self-help book about how it's good to make out or something? Oh well, at least I get to choose next time. Still good to have some reading to do.
Speaking of duality, I've went running with that SLE girl, and I've gotten to know her surprisingly fast. Recently she hinted in a very obvious way that she has feelings for me, although it was quite obvious right from the start. I don't have feelings for her however, even though she is a good person and very mature for her age, besides, I'm moving many miles from here in a few months.
Isn't it typical how we want the ones who don't want us, and how we don't want the ones who want us? This seems to be a curse from which I can't break free.
On first meeting a dual, if the two people haven't had much or any prior experience with duals, the other person can seem to be very, very different from what each one considers to be normal.
This is a recent conversation between an ESI and an LIE who had bumped into each other about four times previously and somehow fell into talking with each other at length:
ESI, sadly, miserably: I got fired today.
LIE, brightly: Opportunity!
ESI: …for about 20 minutes. Then I got hired back.
LIE: Sounds like you should still quit.
ESI, slowly, ponderously: Yes. Well, I thought about it. But I don’t know…..
LIE: Why did you get fired?
ESI: Well, my boss is very volatile. He told me that he didn’t know how to do something, but he trained me in it. He lied to me. Just because he doesn’t want to do that paperwork. I mean, I can do it. It's not hard. But he changes his mind and wants it done right away and I hate to be rushed.
LIE:……
ESI: Anyway, I told him that he trained me in it and he shouldn’t lie to me. Then he told me that he could replace me in a heartbeat and he didn’t need me. So I told him I didn’t have to listen to that and I started to walk away, and he told me not to come back.
I went home and told my wife I was fired. She wasn’t very supportive. I started to wonder if I did the right thing, and then my boss called me and said I was hired again.
Ho Ho. See, he needs me.
LIE: It seems to me that you should quit anyway. Your boss seems like he’s fairly unstable.
ESI: Yes, he is unstable. I was thinking that I’d like to take a vacation and travel and visit my family. I’d see my brother in Florida and my sister in New Mexico and there’s this buddy I see whenever I’m between jobs. When I was talking to my wife, I said that I’d like to do that for the summer, and she said, “So, you are abandoning me and the dog so you can just go off and do nothing.” But no, it’s not like that.
LIE: It seems to me that you are putting your personal feelings first in all this. You are operating on how you feel about people and your family, rather than on facts.
ESI: You don’t consider how you feel about things?
LIE: I don’t let my feelings influence my life decisions.
ESI: So, you are a psychopath?
The more I think about this, the better I agree with it. I used to be skeptical that ESEs would be a perfect match for me — due mainly to bad experiences with my mother, an immature and otherwise mentally troubled ESE, but also since the personality difference seemed too extreme. I think, speaking of which, duality requires more maturity on both sides than relationships which share IEs in the ego block: on one hand, partners have to actually be aware of what they lack, and on the other, immature people are actually still somewhat insecure in their ego functions, and haven’t yet made peace between themselves/their ego block and the external world, and so seek similar partners to help them confront or resist it.
Because of both my own insecurity and my mother’s, I felt barraged, growing up, by Fe and Si; the atmosphere felt oppressive, and I hated it. I was attracted to situations and people which displayed no Fe or Si elements to them, because I felt it was easier to breathe, metaphorically, and I could “be myself” as the phrase goes (who is anyone ever but themselves?). Specifically I really loved Ne types; they felt most like breaths of fresh air.
The more time I spend away from my family, though, the more peace I’ve made with the idea of an ESE. I’m in a relationship now with an SEI, and I appreciate her Fe and Si because they aren’t similar to my base functions, but complementary. We do have our problems though, many of which I think are rooted in her own immaturity.
Do you even think in terms of cause and effect when you converse with people?
I usually see your comments coming miles away.
That is the LIE style. Granted. http://www.wikisocion.net/en/index.p...ile_by_Gulenko
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
I'm not sure what you mean? Cause and effect? Do you mean something that has to do with Fe?
If you are asking if I think about the effect that my words have on people before I speak, I'd say, no, not much.
There are some formulas I try to follow when talking with people. I try to criticize the behavior and not the person, I try not to be mean, and I try to assess people's level of resilience and not push them past it, but other than that, I'm pretty much freewheeling.
It's nice to be understood. Weird that it is by a dual to my conflictor.
But wait! Can you actually predict what I'm going to say, or do you just say to yourself, "Another socially clueless comment by Adam? How is it possible that this guy gets through the day without killing himself or being killed?"
So, you think I am LIE?
Seriously, I find it so fascinating that so much of our behavior is predictable by Socionics. That article is spot-on. thanks for the link. I've bookmarked it and will read his other type descriptions.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
Nope. I've never felt that emotion before.