Sample 1
Situation: My uncle brought a new woman into our family and into our house. After several years of living together, he proposed to her and they got married. For now he is unable to afford a separate flat/house, and therefore he and his wife still live in our apartment. Recently she became pregnant and is about to give birth in December/January.
Problem: My whole family lives in the capital city, has high education, CO military ranks, considers itself to be well-cultured, mannered, intellectual. By default has a soft disposition towards new acquaintances, but follows strict traditions, moral codes, is big on honor and dignity. My uncle's wife however came from the deep outskirts of city life. She has village farm-mentality. Is very harsh and uncompromising, kind of like an elephant in a dish shop, doesn't respect neither her own no others' dignity. My family sees her as a snake that had penetrated the comfort of our paradise.
My train of thought:
- When I first saw her, I instantly disliked her, however I had no justifiable reason to dislike her, since back then she hadn't done anything that would warrant condemnation. I simply looked at her face, into her eyes, at the way she moved, and how she behaved in social situations. I instantly felt a huge amount of discomfort being around her, but I always brushed those feelings aside since they were illogical. I felt wrong about her, but I just couldn't pinpoint why.
- I sensed danger radiating from her, danger towards me and towards my family. So from the very first day I started coming up with plans to defend our property and the integrity of our family, just in case she would prove to be truly dangerous in the future. I started drawing up plans on how to legally prevent her from grabbing our property, how to prevent her from turning any of my family members against me or against each other, how to ensure that we would be victorious legally and emotionally in case some conflict would crop up in the near/distant future.
- Having all these plans on an early stage, I wanted to share them with my parents. But since there was absolutely no factual indication of her vile nature back then, I feared I won't be taken seriously, and would even be made a fool of by my parents for being too calculating, materialistic, and too much of a worrywart. So I kept all my plans, worries, predictions for a dangerous future to myself. They were finalized in my mind, but never shared with anyone. And never put into action.
- They started talking a lot behind my back, discussing my life, my failures, my flaws. This kept getting my blood boiling, but I refrained from interfering, as I primarily thought they were correctly critical of me, even if I disliked it.
But eventually, on one such occasion when she tried to rant on me to my uncle, I exploded and went to confront both of them in a very verbally aggressive manner.
- My main arguing point was that they both are behaving unfairly towards me, that they have absolutely no business discussing me or my life, they have no right to demand anything or expect anything from me, and that they are scum for having attacked my dignity and the dignity of my parents on so many occasions.
- She accused me of bad manners and bad upbringing, and I instantly perceived this as an attack against my parents rather than as an attack against me. If she thinks I have bad upbringing, then she views my parents as incompetent. In which case I am ready to kill her, as nobody has the right to berate my parents.
- During the argument my uncle became physically violent, and attacked me but in a somewhat reserved manner. My first impulse was to punch him, but then I stopped myself in time, having quickly assessed that he's far stronger than I am, and that a more beneficial position for me would be to play the victim. If there is a one-sided physical assault on me, then I can later use his impulsive blunder against him and against his wife, be it through police or other means.
- After the loud argument ended, I left their room, and went back to my business. He later followed me and said "if something happens to my wife, I'll kill you". My instant response was a smile, because I instantly understood that he made a second blunder. Physical assault + death threats = 2 powerful cards in my hand, which I can use at any time in the future to fuck up his life and his wife.
- Both of my parents were unaware of the conflict, and I didn't report it to them. I didn't want to tell them what had taken place, because they would react immediately and in an unfruitful way. So instead of telling them directly, I ensured that they would find out about it "accidentally". And they did several days later.
- However, I had withheld both of my powerful cards, knowing that if they'd find out about the assault and threats, they'd beat my uncle and his wife to a pulp and throw them out of the house. I wanted the situation to be under my control, so that I could trigger this series of events only when the time was right.
- My uncle received a verbal beating from my mother, but it was nothing compared to what would have happened if my parents knew all the details. However, later both of my cards slipped to one of my parents, and I had to put great effort into stopping their wrath from taking shape.