ENFp in love - from socionics.org

[xyz]

Do any of you ENFps have impossible standards when it comes to love? I have no problem loving, platonically, everyone I meet, but I'm in my junior year of college and I have yet to come across anyone who I think is...ugh..."worthy" of me. It's such ugly narcissism. I hate the fact that I always feel removed while making out; that I'm never emotionally into it, that I always feel like I'm toying with the guy's heart. I have to watch myself carefully to avoid manipulating men, and the knowledge that it would be so effortless to make them fall head-over-heels for me is, well, a turn-off. {I hate admitting that.} Even when I desperately want to have stars in my eyes, when I respect the hell out of someone, I still can't seem to get butterflies.

So, uh, now that I've bared my soul, anyone want to make me feel less inhuman?

Prolly just worried about the emotional power someone can have over you if you DO let yourself get effected by them, so you never let yourself get close and all that. It's understandable.

[consentingadult]

...since we operate around theories of cosmic connectedness?

Do we? I joke a lot about cosmic connectedness, but that's exactly what it is: jokes. If you mean 'holistic-spiritual cosmic connectedness', I think that view is more in line with MBTI-ENFPs (and other MBTI NFs) than with Socionics IEEs, who are probably more grounded, behavioristic/reductionistic and existentialistic in their sense of life.

EDIT TO ADD: I fully agree with the second paragraph of your text. I have sought therapy for that

[tiny_dancer]

Do any of you ENFps have impossible standards when it comes to love? I have no problem loving, platonically, everyone I meet, but I'm in my junior year of college and I have yet to come across anyone who I think is...ugh..."worthy" of me. It's my tiny, dark, narcissistic secret. I hate the fact that I always feel removed while making out; that I'm never emotionally into it, that I always feel like I'm toying with the guy's heart. I have to watch myself carefully to avoid manipulating men, and the knowledge that it would be so effortless to make them fall head-over-heels for me is, well, a turn-off. {I hate admitting that.} Even when I desperately want to have stars in my eyes, when I respect the hell out of someone, I still can't seem to get butterflies.

So, uh, now that I've bared my soul, anyone want to make me feel less inhuman?

Don't worry. At some point someone you love will hold you at arm's length, eventually rip you in half, and give you a whoooole new perspective on appreciating someone who truly wants to be with you.

[Ali]

Don't worry. At some point someone you love will hold you at arm's length, eventually rip you in half, and give you a whoooole new perspective on appreciating someone who truly wants to be with you

said like a sadist

[Topaz]

I dont like it when someone starts giving me goo goo eyes when they barely know me. It freaks me out. I dont like it when someone runs ahead of me in their affections. I like the build up of romantic tension. Maybe thats why SLIs are a good match for IEE. They barely give you anything. You gotta work for it. Even when you think you got em they can seem to slip away. On the other hand they wont know you either. They cant. I dont think duals ever really understand each other. Nevertheless their behavior harmonizes.

[tiny_dancer]

said like a sadist

Sadist? Me? Hardly! lol I just meant IEEs don't always appreciate other people's vulnerability until they themselves get burned by someone they're head over heels for. Or maybe it's just a human thing in general. I don't know.

[jewels]

Sadist? Me? Hardly! lol I just meant IEEs don't always appreciate other people's vulnerability until they themselves get burned by someone they're head over heels for. Or maybe it's just a human thing in general. I don't know.

I completely agree! I used to feel the same way when I was young and not ready to really care about anyone. I would feel them starting to care for me, and was fully aware of the result that I could easily get, in their feelings. I always felt really in control and like I could get anyone to fall for me (ego there). But my goal was always to not hurt anyone's feelings, so I would distanced myself in a way that didn't upset them.

Once you are ready to care for people though, then it opens up a whole new somewhat risky thing. It's like you have to be strong enough to risk being hurt to really love someone. But it's worth it.

Now that I'm older, I'm much more open with people, while being aware of how people can hurt me, but I don't really care. I'd rather feel what I feel and I know nothing can devastate me forever. So might as well take the risk.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I dont think duals ever really understand each other. Nevertheless their behavior harmonizes.

That's a good way to look at things, I think- but it depends on the activity. To me, having somebody that understands me is more important than behavior harmonizing. So duals are a bit overrated in that respect.