I only lie if I think it's the right thing to do, which is strange because I don't think I could sit down and write when I think it's right.
I only lie if I think it's the right thing to do, which is strange because I don't think I could sit down and write when I think it's right.
Not sure if lying is ever the right thing to do, (ok maybe against the Nazis to save a bunch of cute Austrian singer children with bright futures, a la Sound of Music). But actually for most situations we all would be in I am sure it isn't ever the "right" thing to do. It always makes more problems for later.Originally Posted by Cyclops
It takes up lots of energy trying to remember what you said when and if people figure out you were lying it takes energy to figure out how you can justify it or fix it.
I do not see how SI and TE firsts would ever think it was a good idea to lie. Doesn't it just cause probems!?! Si stress and Te justification issues. .. .
PS It also hurts people's feelings.
EII 4w5
so/sx (?)
Well, it depends on what it is, maybe i'm thinking trivial stuff like i'd maybe phone the boss to phone in sick and lie about the reason (like i'd maybe say i'm not well but reality is I need the day off because my partner is ill and i'd like to look after for the day) ok maybe this isn't best example but I see it were my priorities are..whats more important, my friends, my partner or some company who would get rid of me and move the job to india if it suits them. What i'm saying is my priorities would make me lie over what or who i see as important.
It's kind of like one principle over-riding the other in that respect. Plus it's none of my managers business
Also..say my partner or my friend asked me to lie to someone (or about someone) to no end but just to lie and possibly be nasty, although my friend or my partner is more important to me than the other person, the fact that i'm being asked to lie purely for the sake of it, possibly hurting someone else, means that in that situation the lying is wrong, and I wouldn't then.
I guess this is what I mean by situational.
The trouble might be though that some people can see through it (the lie I mean) and no one necessarily thinks a person who is lying is doing it for a really BAD reason, but, it makes it much harder to trust them later, when you might really need to trust them. Usually the SLIs I have known are actually really good people with strong values and a solid core. But when they lie it makes it hard to trust them, and so people might just stay away in order to avoid confusion or potential problems. You might be put into a peripheral category of friend in=stead of solid best friend place, which SLI are more than capable of fulfilling, and are probably some of the best friend around really. It is sad for me to see this happen, when they are pushed to the side a little, because they have lied about small things.Well, it depends on what it is, maybe i'm thinking trivial stuff like i'd maybe phone the boss to phone in sick and lie about the reason (like i'd maybe say i'm not well but reality is I need the day off because my partner is ill and i'd like to look after for the day) ok maybe this isn't best example but I see it were my priorities are..whats more important, my friends, my partner or some company who would get rid of me and move the job to india if it suits them. What i'm saying is my priorities would make me lie over what or who i see as important.
It's kind of like one principle over-riding the other in that respect. Plus it's none of my managers business
I hope I am not being mean. I am only talking from experience from interactions with SLIs I have loved and seen hurt. . .
EII 4w5
so/sx (?)
No that's really good advice. See everything I do is based around my moral or ethical code. I always do what I think is right. Which is interesting what you say because my close friends and those that know me well - know my reasons for doing things, see me as totally sound and like a 'rock' and I guess, i've always been more concerned about knowing i was "right" or doing "right" than what others, subjective opinions may be (not that I don't care of course)
Anyway, i'm starting to ramble. What you say makes a lot of sense and i'll have a think about it.
IME Te-wise the sentiment is 'if it's not relevant, you don't need to know'.
It doesn't matter whether or not people can 'see through it' since there is nothing to see through, you are asking for information which isn't relevant.
^^That is the sentiment.
What unefille is talking about is image, how what you are doing it seen to others, constantly controling what you say and do to have an effect on others orand a bit of
.
I've been forced to do as unefille has said in the past and it has lead to some seriously nasty anxiety.
Last edited by leckysupport; 04-27-2008 at 12:47 PM. Reason: add
ἀταραξία
Yes, I agree with (or relate to) this more than the lying because it's "harmless" sentiment. Somtimes certain details about how I spend my time or accomplished something just really isn't anyone's business.
gay sex
Last edited by istpunk; 07-17-2008 at 08:41 AM.
What is this fascination with school shooters?
Aw, that's extremely flattering!Sli's are great like that though because when they do show they like you its more awesome. They are like a present that you slowly get to unwrap. Then it re-wraps itself again and you get to unwrap it again
As a long-suffering temp worker, I've had jobs in literally dozens of different workplaces. And it has taught me that I do not naturally open up to people in any timely fashion. Now, I can have a conversation with a complete stranger ... mention some esoteric subject and I will probably have a factoid or two to casually drop, or relate some personal story and I will probably have a complementary (though condensed during my first several interactions with an individual) anecdote. But "I" don't seem to come across to others until I've had multiple, in-depth interactions; I'm a social chameleon who sticks to the edges at first. And likewise, I never trust my first impressions (yes, plural) - maybe this has been intensified by the number of times that I've heard some version of "Gee, now that I've finally got to know you, you're *not* cold/elitist/stuck-up/unfriendly/inflexible like I first thought!"
If I were the SLI in the original post, I would probably just assume that since the other person came to such a negative view of me off such a dearth of interaction that either I could turn that view around in successive interactions, or else successive interactions would prove I had no need of such a person as my friend anyway. Or I wouldn't even be aware of the other person's negative attitude in the first place, doing my own thang.
SLI
You really hear stuff like "Gee, now that I've finally got to know you, you're *not* cold/elitist/stuck-up/unfriendly/inflexible like I first thought!"
..How insulting
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
Yeah, actually, I have.
It turns out that when I work, I get into my work, and try to be efficient. I take to new computer applications very quickly, and also learn systems of how to do things in a new workplace in a very short timeframe. Then I start tweaking the pattern and figuring out how to do things even better, and this seems to have the effect of
1. Making me seem like I'm completely anti-social, because I focus on getting to know the job before getting to know my co-irkers (typo intended for fun)
2. Putting me at odds with superiors who think I shouldn't change the way things are done, or others who are expected to do the same things in the same way and who either don't want to change and/or feel insecure because they didn't come up with the ideas themselves
3. Making me so efficient that I usually get as much done as the next three or four people (this can also have the unfortunate side effect of making me seem lazy if I'm at a temp placement where I'm discouraged or disallowed from picking up other duties and must then sit on my hands, surf the web, etc. - even in these cases, I will *never* just wander around socializing at work!)
I know a lot of that (especially the last) sounds arrogant. All I can say is, you gotta wait & get to know me before you judge its accuracy!
SLI
No one has ever said that to you? I get it on a daily basis. I think it's different for females who act like this. Guys can be brushed aside for this because it's looked at as typical guy behavior... but for a female to be unnaproachable, quiet, cold-looking, etc, it draws a lot of negative attention. To top it off, if you're also an attractive female with above said qualites, good luck trying to get anyone to talk to you.
Yeah I agree, girls can get a lot more shit for it than guys. I have gotten it, but more along the lines of "wow you're not as quiet/serious as I thought".. or something.
I wonder what a cold looking woman looks like.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
Yeah, I'm pretty sure my female SLI friend is regarded as a total bitch in the workplace. Of course, she also works for one of the biggest money-pit bureaucracies on the planet, and she gets a lot of flak when she defends her point or blatantly goes against regulation.
Although we can be very successful in it, I don't believe it's the best environment for us. We are too honest..to genuine..at least in comparison
I'm not SLI, but I've talked to people who've told me that they thought I was a bitch before they met me.
I look "mean" to them. I guess
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
I relate. A lot. It's really funny because I know the general consensus of my demeanor on this forum is friendly, responsive, open. And yet, in real life, almost everyone (really) says that on first impression, I give off snobby, "repelling", negative, intimidating vibes. I really don't know what it is - the only things I've gotten out of asking people why they thought so was that when I walk, I tend to look straight, tunnel vision style, and don't acknowledge anyone. This apparently gives off the feeling that I think I'm "elite" or something? Thanks, you've given me a good idea for a new thread ... *ambles off*
Same here. I used to be worse when I was younger. I wasn't trying to be UNfriendly but I was simply living in my head and it came across as cold. I'm much better now that I'm older and I try more consciously to look at people in the eyes and smile and say hello.
IEI-Fe 4w3
Ahh, that's exactly it. I do "live in my head" too much, especially when just walking around. I actually don't see the point of "noticing" my surroundings too much (until I walk into random objects, like poles). It actually takes too much effort for me, must be weakor something. It's terrible, but I can't exactly do too much about it, so let people think what they may. I believe that if I just act naturally without compromising myself, people complementary to me will still be attracted/interested.
Thank you. You just gave me the final peice of the puzzle of a girl ive been trying to type. Shes friends with an INFp. I recon ive said hi to her 4 times when shes walking and shes ignored me 4 times. I suspected that she simply had no idea though. *off with the faeries*
You're SpecialI walk into poles, and I'm
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
hahahaI walk into poles, and I'm
EII 4w5
so/sx (?)
This sounds just like me. The more I read your comments, the more similarities I find with myself.
That sounds emotionally draining.Sli's are great like that though because when they do show they like you its more awesome. They are like a present that you slowly get to unwrap. Then it re-wraps itself again and you get to unwrap it again
LSE and SLI scare the shit out of me with how good they are at witholding things and being secretive, that I find it hard to trust them completely. I'm not saying that they are like that necessarily, but they sure have the potential for it.[/QUOTE]
This has also been my experience. It's hard to know where they truly stand and how they feel, which makes it interesting at first, but can become emotionally draining for someone like me.
It's like a disconnection from emotional things, when there is supposed to be emotionality.
I totally agree.
LOLShit they're on to us!
RUN
"I think the lying/deception is the combination of Te-creative and Fe-PoLR. I suspect a lot of them tell certain lies simply because it will save the hassle of actually explaining their circumstances/motivations, or because they want a certain outcome and a lie is the easiest way to secure it. "
I've heard this a lot.
He he, yup.
LOL. You've described me in this situation.Ahh, that's exactly it. I do "live in my head" too much, especially when just walking around. I actually don't see the point of "noticing" my surroundings too much (until I walk into random objects, like poles). It actually takes too much effort for me, must be weak
You run into poles? You must be very special.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
I am!
Careful, I might drain you.I am!
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
If you have 7+ thoughts in a row. Put them in one post.
Unless you're aiming for post count? If so.. that's just stupid.
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
You might.
Darling, you haven't changed.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Neither have you, my love.
Well, finally we agree on something.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
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