the conversation reminds me of the one i had with my istp best friend back in junior high...the conversation was when we were in 7th grade, walking home.
i considered her my best friend, we always hung out together in school, we walked each other home,
but we didn't spend time together past that...cuz my father never let me go anywhere
i asked her if i was her best friend
she looked at me funny and said no
this totally surprised me
then i asked if i was her second best friend
again she said no
you mean she's got two people that she prefers over me????
then i asked if i was her third best friend
she laughed and said no, and told me not to worry about it
(ok ok, i admit, by this time i was acting kind of needy/desperate)
she pointed out that we spend our school time together, we have fun, we're obviously friends, so what more is needed??
it took me months to get over this devestating blow
until i started to realize that just because she was my best friend doesn't necessarily mean that I am hers
and which is more important to me? having her as my best friend....or being considered her best friend?
i wouldn't have changed the times we spent together at all
there were times when our friendship was tested:
in high school, my father went through a lot of effort to try to keep her and i away from each other,
calling the school to insist they seperate our classes, telling the school lies about her
it got so bad that the school called her parents to find out what was going on
her parents sat her down one evening and had a talk with her
she explained to them a lot of what was going on in my home
they informed her that if she wanted to continue being my friend, and wanted to fight the crap my father was doing, that they would support her
and she did, she remained by my side through all the crap i went through
she was a very very good friend to me
alas, i wasn't such a good friend to her
after i ran away, she invited me out to eat, or to hang out, etc
but i was generally so caught up in my own little world that i never returned the attentions
but, she didn't seem to mind....i don't know what she thought of those times, but i think if i were to ask her now, she'd say something like...."life happens"
every once in a while we look each other up, catch up, and then "life happens" and we lose track of each other again
but when we do talk...it's like ....like we're still "best friends"....and she still teases me about that conversation!!!